Are you a working mother feeling weighed down by the never-ending cycle of tasks and responsibilities? Do you wonder why everything feels like a chore? If so, you're not alone.
Many working mothers experience the sensation that everything feels like a chore—a relentless burden that drains their energy and dampens your spirits.
But why does this happen? And how can you navigate these challenges to find relief and peace?
Why Everything Feels Like a Chore
In today's fast-paced world, working mothers often find themselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities simultaneously.
From managing careers to maintaining households to nurturing children, the expectations placed on working mothers can feel overwhelming at times.
The pressure to excel in every aspect of life can leave working mothers feeling stretched thin, as if there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything on their to-do lists.
Guilt and Self-Imposed Expectations
Guilt is a common companion for many working mothers, lingering in the background of your mind and making you wonder why everything feels like a chore. You often feel guilty for not spending enough time with your children, not advancing further in your career, and neglecting your self-care.
This sense of guilt can turn even the simplest tasks into daunting chores, as working mothers strive to meet the expectations they've set for themselves.
TIP: Yes, yes. We always hear "do more self-care." Yes, it is hard when you're busy. We can't let that be an excuse though! As a therapist, when someone has negative feelings, the first thing we look at is how to bring enjoyable activities back into their life.
Self care = Enjoyable activities, activities that fill your cup. This can be exercise, time by yourself (Hello, Introverts!), or dinner with friends.
The Myth of Work-Life Balance
Despite the widespread desire for work-life balance, many working mothers find this elusive concept to be more of a myth than a reality.
Balancing work and family life demands can feel like an uphill battle, with one area often taking precedence over the other.
This imbalance can leave working mothers feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, as they struggle to find harmony among competing responsibilities.
TIP: You can't make everything 50/50. It's not realistic. Instead, shoot for "harmony." This implies priorities "flex" at different times of the day, week, or month. You may work more one week and then prioritize more family time the next when work expectations have changed.
Finding Relief and Restoration
So, how can working mothers alleviate the burden of feeling like everything is a chore?
Firstly, it's important to recognize that you are not alone in your struggles. Many other working mothers share similar experiences and understand the challenges they face.
Here are solutions:
CHANGE UP YOUR ROUTINE
- You know that recipe you saved to Pinterest last year? Go make it! Research tells us that doing something new and exciting increases curiosity and overall life satisfaction.
- Send a letter to someone you've been thinking of. Make it a creative project and add fun stickers. (I LOVE getting snail mail, so this helps build connections with important relationships!)
- Do you always eat at the dining room table for meals? Eat outside! Sometimes I eat dinner out on the deck with the kids. They love the change in scenery too!
WRITE A GRATITUDE LIST
- This can be hard to keep going, so make it easy. If you forget to write something down, say your gratitude in your head! It doesn't matter how you do it, but coming up with what is going well in your life increases positivity and happiness.
- Encourage your kids to join the fun! Modeling this behavior to your kids teaches them positive coping skills when life gets hard for them. Win, win!
TAKE A PAUSE
- Are you stuck in the "plan for the next day" rut? Challenge yourself to let go of planning and enjoy the moment.
- Let the dishes sit and go play cars with your child on the floor. Watch their mood change too!
- When was the last time you looked at your ceiling? Okay, a weird example I know, but think about it. When you stop sitting on the same couch and lay on the floor instead, you break up routine. Your brain cannot be on autopilot anymore. Allow for awareness of the moment be there and notice what you see from a different angle. Literally.
What are you going to change when everything feels like a chore?
Being a working mother comes with its own set of unique challenges and pain points, many of which contribute to the feeling that everything is a chore.
By acknowledging the pressures you face, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing self-care, you can begin to alleviate the burden and reclaim a sense of joy and fulfillment in your daily lives.
Remember, you are not alone and deserve a break, curiosity, and happiness.
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