1. Reconnect With What Really Matters To Manage Stress During the Holidays

When you strip away the noise and pressure, what’s left? What truly matters to you during the holidays? This is essential to manage stress during the holidays.

Take a few minutes to reflect:

• What do you want your family to remember most about this season?
• Which traditions fill you with joy—and which ones just feel like obligations?
• How do you want to feel during the holidays (calm, connected, joyful, peaceful)?

Values-based decision-making is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress.

When you align your actions with your values, you create a built-in filter for what deserves your time and energy.

For example:

• If connection is your value, maybe that means smaller, more intentional gatherings instead of hosting three big parties.
• If simplicity matters, maybe it’s skipping elaborate gift wrapping and choosing experiences over things.
• If rest is your value, you might decide that store-bought cookies are perfectly fine.

Your peace matters more than anyone’s expectations.

 

2. Set Boundaries To Protect Your Energy

The holidays are full of opportunities to overextend yourself—emotionally, financially, and physically. Boundaries help you stay grounded in what’s healthy for you.

Here’s how to set boundaries with less guilt:

✦ Clarify Your Limits

Get honest about what you can realistically handle this season. How much time, money, and emotional energy do you have to give?

✦ Communicate Early and Clearly

If you need to opt out of hosting, attending an event, or buying gifts, communicate it with honesty and kindness.

“I love spending time with everyone, but this year I need a quieter holiday to recharge. Let’s plan a coffee date after things slow down.”

✦ Expect Discomfort

Boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to keeping the peace. But discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re growing.

Remember: Saying no to others is often saying yes to your peace, your values, and your well-being.

 

3. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

So much holiday stress comes from chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist. What is that for you? The perfect family, perfect meal, perfect photo?

At the core, perfection is rooted in fear: fear of judgment, fear of disappointing others, fear of not being enough.

Instead of striving for perfect, aim for present.

• Burned cookies can still spark laughter.
• Last-minute gifts can still feel thoughtful.
• Messy moments often become the best memories.

Let imperfection be a part of your story this season. When you release control, you create space for authenticity and that’s where true connection lives.

 

4. Notice The Mental Load (and delegate it!)

If you’re constantly managing lists, plans, and emotions for everyone around you, you might be carrying an invisible weight: the mental load.

This invisible labor includes remembering:

• Who’s allergic to what at dinner
• Which relatives don’t get along
• Who still needs gifts, wrapping, or travel coordination

To lighten this load:

• Delegate intentionally. Ask your partner, kids, or relatives to take ownership of tasks (not just “help”).
• Lower the bar. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s connection.
• Pause often. A few deep breaths between tasks can reset your nervous system.

Your worth is not measured by how much you do but it’s reflected in how present you can be.

 

5. How Therapy Can Help Manage Stress During The Holidays (and beyond)

Even though holiday stress feels seasonal, it often points to deeper patterns.

If you notice yourself constantly overwhelmed, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling resentful and unseen, it’s not just about the holidays. It might be about how you’ve been conditioned to show up for others at the expense of yourself.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand your emotional triggers and stress patterns
• Learn to regulate your nervous system when you feel overwhelmed
• Set and hold boundaries without guilt
• Reconnect with your identity outside of what you do for others

A trauma-informed therapist can help you uncover the why behind your holiday stress so you can move from surviving the season to actually enjoying it.

 

6. Build In Small Moments of Regulation

You don’t need an hour-long self-care routine to manage stress. Small, intentional resets throughout the day make a big difference.

Try these quick regulation practices:

• Breath check: Pause and take 3 slow, deep breaths before responding or moving to the next task.
• Body awareness: Roll your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and notice where tension lives.
• Micro-moments of joy: Sip your coffee in silence, step outside for fresh air, or listen to a song that grounds you.

These moments help your body recognize that it’s safe to slow down even when life is busy.